[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Itzujv4JwU]What is the thing that you most fear? The monster under the bed? Unstoppable zombies gangling through the moonlight? Giant snakes that can swallow you in one bite and let you to slowly digest in their thoracic cavity (I'm sure that description is not quite biologically apt, but you know what I meant)? Maybe something else? Something even more gruesome? Here's a thought project for you: imagine that thing that you most fear, and now imagine it times a thousand. Wouldn't you be tripping all over yourself to go see a movie featuring THAT!?Why are you shaking your head? Hello?Okay, well, perhaps my movie taste is a touch, ahem, unique, but don't let that dissuade you. If you ever sat through a movie like Evil Dead, or Dead Snow, or even one without the word "dead" in the title, like the Walking Dead, er, no, like Night of the Living Dead...no, wait, I'll get it, um...Fright Night!—whew, as I was saying, if you ever watched a movie like one of those and had even a fleeting moment where you thought to yourself, "This is the grooviest gorefest of all time" then Joss Whedon (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly fame, among others) and Drew Goddard's (involved in such projects as Lost and Alias, and writer of Cloverfield) latest collaboration, the Cabin in the Woods, will send your horror-loving heart into spasms. Of joy, just to be clear.With a tagline such as "You think you know the story" one thing you know you can count on are surprises. But let's face it; we've all seen movies that had a bit of a shock, and we've all become almost numb to the expectation of the unexpected. Us gore junkies are always looking for the next big thing, the next big whallop that sends the adrenalin glands into overdrive and the stomach lurching so far up the throat that we have to bounce in our seats to get it back down where it belongs. With Josh and Drew, we can relax, because those gents know how to deliver.So it's off to the deserted, dilapidated cabin in the woods we go with our five vacationing college friends. Of course, if we weren't in such capable storytelling hands, we'd already be yawning. But no, we're not yawning. We're sitting raptly attentive in our seats, hands clutched together just beneath our chins knowing that at any moment, we'll have to yank them up to our faces to cover our eyes as the real show begins.And when it does, get ready, because you won't be expecting this.I wish I could tell you more, but suffice it to say, the anticipation is part of the experience for this movie. The characters are all charming and well cast, the setting is perfectly eerie, and the story leaves nothing to be desired. If you, like me, enjoy a good arterial spritzing and prefer your horror with a side of humor, the Cabin in the Woods is what's for dinner.And because I can't help myself, here's a tiny, two-word, pseudo-spoiler: Sigourney Weaver.Bechdel Test status: Squeaks by, barely.
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