[Before jumping into the review, I thought I'd let you know about a short blurb on writing I did at the awesome and talented writer Ryan Brooks's blog today. Now back to our creature feature. Enjoy!]When I heard that Tommy Wirkola was putting out a new movie, and in English no less, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'd be there. After all, no film (besides perhaps Zombieland) has done more justice to the zombie trope, with better gore, better storytelling, and a higher degree of overall surprise, than 2009's Dead Snow, also written and directed by Wirkola. A review of Dead Snow muchly deserves a post all to itself, but suffice it to say, it had me at the Braindead T-shirt worn by one of the characters. And the Nazis, of course, the zombie Nazis.Much like Guillermo del Toro—cutting his directorial teeth on little-seen and sadly under-budgeted films, and graduating to highly stylized, studio-backed big screen films with lots of special effects—I hoped that Wirkola would be able to wow a more mainstream audience with his newfound production support.And it worked.Hansel & Gretel is the other Grimm fairytale about what becomes of the sister and brother after they torch the big, bad witch living in the heart of the deep, dark woods. The combo don't fade into obscurity like they do in the original fairy tale; instead, they become an ass-kicking duo and arch-enemies of witches far and wide. The opening credits expose the audience to parchment after eighteenth-century parchment of their witch-massacring exploits, bringing us to their current mission: saving a small (luckily, entirely English-speaking) German hamlet from an unusually high number of child abductions that are clearly part of some bigger and more imperative mystery involving the coming Blood Moon (not to be confused with that time of the...oh nevermind). Time is running out, the witches are becoming increasingly hostile, and Hansel's lingering blood sugar problem, thanks to all that candy the witch tried to fatten him up on as a child, is always complicating things at the wrong time. A fine mix for a great adventure.The movie has a little something for everyone who enjoys a solid alternative reality to sink their teeth into: gore, violence, trolls, fairy tales, and a bonus of steampunk flare showing up in the weapons and other accoutrements with which the pair kills witches. One of the most impressive elements, to my mind, was the cast. Gemma Arterton, Jeremy Renner, Peter Stormare, and Famke Janssen have each appeared in some of my favorite all-time films (Rock'n'Rolla, 28 Weeks Later and S.W.A.T., The Big Lebwoski and Constantine, and Deep Rising, respectively), and having them all on one screen was about as sweet as a fairy tale witch's candy house. Sure, there were a few flaws and some silliness in Hansel & Gretel, but one doesn't buy a ticket to a Wirkola (or del Toro) film expecting to come away with new insight into the human condition.[youtube=http://youtu.be/aAkhVMgEzJM]Bechdel Test: unequivocal pass.