You know that chapter you should be working on? The one that has some elemental flaw that you just can’t put your finger on, but which you also cannot progress on until you’ve sussed out that niggling annoyance? Yeah, that. What do you do when you know you need to fix something but can’t quite figure it out and therefore decide to passive-aggressively cope with the giant fail moment by procrastinating yourself into a coma? I have ways, oh yes, many ways to procrastinate. Here they are (NOT an exhaustive list). What are yours?
Write a blog post about procrastination.
Play with Photoshop until my eyes bleed.
Research. Anything. Such as find out how quickly things accelerate into the sun the closer they get; it doesn’t matter.
YouTube. For hours. And hours. Did you know Cosmos is on there now? Along with the BBC series on the History of Britain written and narrated by Simon Shama. For realz.
Watch pro cycling races.
Even out how much shoelaces dangle for all of my running shoes.
Read blogs about finding inspiration and dealing with procrastination.
Proofread lingering unfinished projects AGAIN.
Grocery list. Gotta eat, right?
Alphabetize items on the grocery list.
Proofread the grocery list.
Time to rearrange the furniture.
What exactly is the etymology of the word pink? I must know, immediately.
Check book sales.
Check author rank.
Recheck book sales.
Puzzle out how to get that unidentified stain out of my trousers.
Stand in front of the mirror and contemplate bangs.
Best double check when the next oil change is due.
While I'm at it, the truck's windows and mirrors could use a wash.
My collection of business suits, i.e., running shorts and yoga pants, are in need of laundering.
Check for any new newsletter subscribers.
Read up on best newsletter practices.
Sketch out some newsletter ideas (which will likely never get finished, much less sent).
Accept (momentary) defeat and listen to an Overtime with Bill Maher podcast.
Those dishes won't wash themselves.
Think of something better to do than washing dishes.
Bike tune up day!
Not that I need new rims, but it doesn't hurt to look.
There must be a better way to arrange the menu on my blog.
Canva.com. So evil.
SOCIAL MEDIA.
Closet organization, including sorting shirts, pants, and skirts by color.
May as well take all these old clothes to the Salvation Army box.
Hmmm, now I have room for new clothes! To the Patagucci website I go.
Oh look. Bills to pay. Now where is that pen?
Yikes, time to rearrange and declutter my desk drawers.
Now that this is all out of the drawer, time for filing.
SQUIRREL!
Okay, I’m exhausted. May as well catch up on reading for five minutes before lights out. I'll write tomorrow, I swear.